Wanting to be liked can also be a killer: You make a concession to win the other side's appreciation. Wrapped up in ego can be a dangerous determination to win at all costs.
Many deals are killed by pride and self-importance. You might not ask for information you need or be unwilling to give up something relatively minor that wounds your ego.
"Your goal should never be to win the negotiation," Mr. Kupfer says, referring to the desire to be able to brag afterward about how you crushed the other side. Often, he finds, such negotiators fare poorly, winning the one point they obsess about and not noticing other areas where they are unsuccessful in gaining their objectives. And if you talk too much, stroked by ego, you could be giving away information you shouldn't and are not listening to understand the other side's points.
Take a moment to catch your breath and follow these steps:
Tips for Successful Negotiations Series #003
Negotiation is not possible unless and until individuals learn to compromise to some extent and stop finding faults in each other.
Keep your eyes and ears open during negotiation. Remember the other party would try hard to convince you and impose their decisions on you. You don’t have to fall a prey to the other party. If you are not in a mood to negotiate, it is always better to postpone it rather than messing up things.
Tips for Successful Negotiations Series #001-Shut up and listen.
Ed Brodow-Negotiation Expert, Speaker & Author
I am amazed by all the people I meet who can't stop talking. Negotiators are detectives. They ask probing questions and then shut up. The other negotiator will tell you everything you need to know – all you have to do is listen.
Many conflicts can be resolved easily if we learn how to listen. The catch is that listening is the forgotten art. We are so busy making sure that people hear what we have to say that we forget to listen.
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